The Wedding Ceremony

We thought we’d write up this page as there’s no guarantee that the service will be comprehensible, even if it’s in English (there are no rehearsals!) Traditionally there are no service sheets or hymns, no ushers, and no guides to what’s going on.  The congregation stands throughout the wedding ceremony, crowding round the couple, and - in our limited experience - wandering about, entering and exiting the church, taking photos as and when, and doing a live commentary over a mobile phone to cousins in Australia. There are some seats though, and in the church we are getting married in, there’s a ‘women only’ gallery upstairs offering dress circle views.

There are a variety of local customs that surround the wedding ceremony: we are doing a sort of ‘pick and mix’ of what is typical in Trikeri (and taking some traditions from other Greek regions).

Typically, the bride goes through her own pre-wedding ceremony, which involves her bridesmaids remaking her bridal bed three times under the guidance of her mother, and throwing lucky charms onto the bed to ensure wealth, health and fertility (so nuts and seeds, coins, babies..!)

The groom also goes through his own ‘pre-wedding’ ceremony in which he is shaved (face only!) by his ‘dressers’ (sort of like ushers). The party would normally start at the groom’s house, with a band of musicians, who would then lead him to his best man’s house, then on to the bride’s house to collect her on the way to the church. We are not doing this: although we will have music and a procession, Bob will meet and lead everyone (with the master of ceremonies and musicians) to the church, and then Maria will meet Bob outside the church.

The master of ceremonies is also meant to help the bride into her shoes so that she can leave her parents’ house, only to sabotage this by placing something (usually some sugar-coated almonds) into her shoes so that they don’t fit. She needs to bribe him (a gradual increase in value of gifts that he first rejects until he is offered something he deems valuable enough to take the almonds out and let her go). Maria won’t be doing this, but will be following another tradition of inscribing the names of all her unmarried female friends on the base of her shoes: the names that will have rubbed out by the end of the evening will be married shortly.

The Greek Orthodox ceremony has remained the same throughout centuries and consists of two main parts: the Betrothal Service and the Marriage Ceremony.

The Betrothal Service

The priest asks the bride and groom at the church door whether they come of their own free will. Then he leads them into the church to the altar. He blesses the rings (presented by the best man or ‘Koubaros’) and places them on the right index finger (unlike the British left). This is because the right is considered to be the righteous / correct way, the hand of goodness rather than the sinister left (!) The Koubaros (or if female, Koubara) swaps the ring three times between the couple, symbolizing that their lives are entwined forever (we have seen the priest do this, as opposed to the Koubaros). The priest will then seal the rings on their fingers by chanting a prayer and placing his vestment over their crossed hands. The act of doing things three times echoes the belief in the Holy Trinity of Father, Son and Holy Ghost.

The Marriage Ceremony

Following directly on from the Betrothal Service, this begins with the priest handing the bride and groom lit candles to hold throughout the rest of the ceremony. Nowadays, instead of holding candles, most couples prefer to have two large standing candles. The lit candles represent Jesus Christ, the Light of the World, Who will light and bless the couple in their new life together. The ceremony continues with the crowning of the couple. The priest holds the wedding crowns, known in Greece as ‘Stefana’ (and offered as a gift by the Koubaro/a), and makes the sign of the cross with them three times over the bride and groom. The wedding crowns are tied together, representing the joining of two souls and that the couple are ready to create their own household, their own ‘kingdom’ (hence the crowning - we get to be king and queen for the night!). The groom and bride kiss the crowns before they are placed on their heads, and the Koubaro/a switches the ‘Stefana’ back and forth, three times. Couples keep their “Stefana” in their household (usually in a special box, near an icon, in their bedroom) for the rest of their married life together.

Once the couple are crowned, Bible readings will be chanted by the priest and cantor about the responsibilities and duties of marriage (in a form of Byzantine Greek that most Greeks do not understand). The bride and groom drink red wine (blood of Christ) from the same cup and eat honey with nuts (or something else, like bread) from the same spoon / loaf, signifying that the couple are ready to share sorrow and happiness together. Then the priest leads the bride and groom around the altar table three times whilst he holds the Bible. Known as the ‘Dance of Isaiah’, this represents the couple’s first steps together following the Word of God (the Bible) as they start a new life together, while the circularity symbolises the eternity of marriage (much like a ring). The ‘Dance of Isaiah’ is also the part in the ceremony in which guests throw (and are encouraged to throw!) rice and flowers over the couple to wish them a happy and long-lasting marriage. You will be able to collect a handful of rice and flowers at the entrance to the church.

At the end of the ceremony, the priest lifts the crowns from the heads of the couple and uses the Bible to ‘uncouple’ the bride and groom’s joining hands, meaning that only God is able to divide the couple (so not ‘‘til death do us part’ - even in death, couples remain joined).

After the ceremony, the newlyweds thank all the guests for their presence by distributing ‘bonbonieres’, a type of a ‘favour’ or gift that contains an uneven number of sugar-coated almonds (known as ‘koufetta’). We will then all proceed towards the village square for dinner. As is common to many traditions, the newly weds lead the dancing with their first dance. We will be having a mix of Greek traditional dancing and ‘anything goes’ dancing and music (and will be encouraging the locals to join in!) Speeches are not traditional, but who knows what will happen on the night!